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Keystone of the Heart

by The Roseline

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1.
Is love alone enough to sustain us What a lie to be told that the truest form is painless Is love alone structurally dangerous Is the keystone of the arch decorative or load-bearing In the limestone vernacular barn where we were married If I may be bold, could I possibly beg To be held and not to hold – my heart is a wreck Well I gave you my love, gave you all that I had What was roarin’ last December Now’s a glowin’ orange ember And we’re both growin’ resentful Throw some wood on the fire I’d hate to grow old caretakin’ but never cared for And I’m ashamed to be told when I was carryin’ on in rare form We made a family and home so why must we declare war Is the keystone of the heart decorative or load-bearing Like the limestone vernacular barn where we were married If I may be bold, could I possibly beg To be held and not to hold – my heart is a wreck Well I gave you my love, gave you all that I had What was roarin’ last December Now’s a glowin’ orange ember And we’re both growin’ resentful Throw some wood on the fire
2.
Aloneness 02:39
Aloneness – It ain’t loneliness It’s a state of being where I feel at home And I notice that I can’t focus ‘Cause it’s more often than not I ain’t alone It’s a thin and fragile line O’er a man can lose his mind ‘Cause solitude can saw right through a soul All I think I’m needin’ Is a big unruly weekend Fan the flames and as for the reins I’m gonna let ‘em gooooooooooooo Oh aloneness – it ain’t hopelessness It’s the state of being that miss the most Before this unrelentin’ chorus To provide and strive and pine for more and more It’s a thin and fragile line O’er a man can lose his mind ‘Cause solitude can cause an early death All I think I’m needin’ Is a still and quiet weekend A lil leisure sure to ease your heart and heeeaaaaad
3.
Hot Dice 04:08
Feeling low but never lonely I am loved and I will love them always Bless my family and band Everything else is looking grim Sweep my arm wide and gesture broadly Shape your ash and throw one back like it'll solve things Ain't one answer to be had Why we're perpetually sad Hot dice and cold beer too Everybody's feeling good in the greenroom Then it entered in my head For no good reason then I said Oh my we had a real good ride Now we're in over our heads At the rate of the sea level's rise Ain't got no home to inherit Yeah I can murder the mood in seconds if you want me to Breaking bread with my family Salty air is just rustling the palm trees Keep it jovial and light Keep your mouth muzzled tight Tap a glass, wait for silence God bless bipartisan imperial violence Cast a pall over the room The cousins look kinda confused Where's the love or compassion You involuntary celibate fascists What did your daddy do to you Unpack your trauma for the truth Oh my we had a real good time Can't barely get outta bed Hollowed out about a case of good wine I got an ache in my head I'm doing damage control over coffee and eggs again I'm a little ornery and kinda contrarian You can slap that microphone out of my hand Kick me off my soapbox Insist that I don't walk that walk You'd be right and I would just sulk in the sand Hot dice and cold beer too Everybody's feeling good in the greenroom Then it entered in my head I told a gross joke instead Oh my we had a real good ride I say we do it again The hardest part is the waiting in the line And waiting as we ascend And then the free-fall starts and we're born in to joy again
4.
I Was a Gun 03:59
I hate to say it but I’ll likely never change A head of ironwood You thought that maybe you could mold me into something Beyond boyhood I’m a joke, a gas, with no slant rhyme or reason Can’t even hold a job down for more than a season I was a gun You were a flower I was poorly gettin’ paid by the hour I was a wrecking ball and downright dour You were the only one that saw any good I was plum Unpleasant and sour I wasn’t ripe but your patience was power You let me sweeten up and then you devoured You were the only one that saw any good That saw any good It’s hard to say it but the children that we made Are all that saved me Now I awake and there’s promise in the day Our blue-eyed babies As for us, a shrug and a love in disrepair Have we given up? Regardless I promise I’ll be there. I was a gun You were a flower I was poorly gettin’ paid by the hour I was a wrecking ball and downright dour You were the only one that saw any good I was plum Unpleasant and sour I wasn’t ripe but your patience was power You let me sweeten up and then you devoured You were the only one that saw any good That saw any good
5.
In My Way 04:17
I’m in my way again Listless and lost – a malcontent Hissin’ and all recalcitrant A boy among men I’m in my way again The whites of my eyes are splinterin’ All Red #5 and cinnamon They’re spoiled and spent Yet when she holds my face Her kisses and laughter shakes The notion that I’m just some joyless boy about to break I’m in my way again This small spartan room I’m workin’ in Feels like a tomb or impediment To where I belong I’m in my way again Pink wine and bread ain’t sustenance I’m absent of all sweet common sense I stutter and stall Yet when she holds my face Her kisses and laughter shakes The notion that I’m just some joyless boy about to break I’m in my lane again I’m finally home and settled in Heartbeat is slow and steadyin’ I’m not in my way
6.
I’ve been over-served, I admit it Couldn’t possibly walk a line But I am over this standard of livin’ Three different gigs and barely gettin’ by Who is to blame? Who is forgiven? Whose leather boot can I lick to a shine? Call it a slog. Call it a privilege. Grindin’ daily mornin’ to night I guess I’ll call it a life Made to believe I’m sick and selfish I never did quite fall in line Been branded sensitive and helpless all my life I barely function in the madness They never fix it by design Planned obsolescence and a pile of debt ‘til ya die Oh it’s a wonderful life All these big broad strokes I’ve been brushin’ Painted over the joys of life My daughters’ laughter, good bread and butter, To watch you undress, or the Northern Lights The comeback kids and the championships A Porsche’s curves, your soft tan lines Man this life can feel pretty crushin’ I’ll stick around in the meantime But I better call it a night Made to believe I’m sick and selfish I never did quite fall in line Been branded sensitive and helpless all my life I barely function in the madness They never fix it by design Planned obsolescence and a pile of debt ‘til ya die Oh it’s a wonderful life We got the numbers on our enemies They’re in our crosshair lines As they exacerbate our suffering Let’s let the masses hang ‘em high (repeat) Made to believe I’m sick and selfish I never did quite fall in line Been branded sensitive and helpless all my life I barely function in the madness They never fix it by design Planned obsolescence and a pile of debt ‘til ya die Oh it’s a wonderful life
7.
Dimed 05:17
My temperment’s sure tempermental Capacity rage but I carry on Heard there’s an asteroid with potential Of fallin’ in our path Fingers crossin’ behind my back Theses cosplay kids seem so provincial Armed to the teeth for a petty war I’m empathetic to one impulse Of lying in the road After pullin’ on a push door With a low and heavy sun All the colors start to run Into peach, pink, tangerine, and plum Yet the blues have never won Due to beauty sneakin’ up And cuttin’ the cuffs of anhedonia I am exhausted by the rallying cry for caution Let’s dime it out just a little more often I need my palm read, a clairvoyant or a prophet A vision of good comin’ down the line For my daughters in their lives Or tell ‘em a good lie I put two fingers to my temple In the shape of the gun but I laugh it off ‘Cause life’s become absurdly simple Love all and pack it up Throw a party when we’re gone May we always remain civil If our love were to ever warp Into something gnarled, mean, or sinful An unnecessary chord All dissonant and misinformed With a low and heavy sun All the colors start to run Into peach, pink, tangerine, and plum Yet the blues have never won Due to beauty sneakin’ up And cuttin’ the cuffs of anhedonia I am exhausted by the rallying cry for caution Let’s dime it out just a little more often I need my palm read, a clairvoyant or a prophet A vision of good comin’ down the line For my daughters in their lives Or tell ‘em a good lie
8.
All these saber rattling, racist frat boy, cop cucks in control Frame compassion as the enemy In my dreams I'm thrashing, teeth are gnashing, dust became of bone Ain't got faith but we got fealty Oh my love, you're sweet as syrup or a radio song Stuck inside my head however long Oh my girl, you don't deserve to be belittled at all Condescended or projected on We used to make fun of those married couples at each other's throats Swore we'd never be that miserable I can feign disgust at greed and lust -- I'm poorly clutching pearls While my own behavior's terrible Oh my love, you're sweet as syrup or a radio song Stuck inside my head however long Oh my girl, you don't deserve to be belittled at all Condescended or projected on All our roses always bloom again And lay in contrast to our rotting deck It's time I swing a hammer and break a sweat And take care of our home I did neglect Every love needs maintenance, oil changes, physicals and blood Work to diagnose and remedy
9.
Runnin’ wild Untethered from civilian life He’d always romanticize like a little child An impulsive mind Heavy pours of inexpensive wine A credit score in decline And an ex-wife He’s at a low he hasn’t felt in ten long years Four decades old, but a kid between the ears Lopsided luck compared to fellow privileged peers He’s always passin’ the buck and avoidin’ the mirror His only child Is literally all his life He wakes up in the mornin’ only to see her eyes His yellowed whites Indicate an organ’s cry The copperhead is cornered and always in sight He’s at a low he hasn’t felt in ten long years Four decades old, but a kid between the ears Lopsided luck compared to fellow privileged peers He’s always passin’ the buck and avoidin’ the mirror Some friends have started dyin’ off and he parties at their wakes He tries to keep it dry enough not to decay or fade The ballast keeps his balance but those waves carry more weight They beat against the bow and port while he refreshed his drink A mosquito’s whine The early mornin’ purple light That smudges the horizon line Woke on a lawn alive

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released February 2, 2024

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The Roseline Lawrence, Kansas

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